A Matter of Democracy
Feb 18 2008 | Views 345 |
Comments (34)
Tags: Humour shopping democratic voting Parliament cabinet horse-trading New Year party
Tags: Humour shopping democratic voting Parliament cabinet horse-trading New Year party
Things have been going from bad to worse ever since my husband decided to have a democratic method of functioning at home. That he believes in cornering 50% of voting rights, magnanimously distributing the rest between the three of us in the ratio of 20:15:15, is another matter. The hitherto successful system of authoritarian rule had been discarded for a system, which has led the household haywire.
No sooner is a member berated for an errant behavior, the rest gang up and called for a ‘healing touch’ to assuage the hurt feelings of the anguished party. They also demand adequate compensation from the perpetrator of the heinous act. In most cases the offender is truly yours. As a result I am always under debt requiring all sorts of ‘financial aid’ from the richer members.
If it is his way of getting back at me for my past autocracy, the spouse is having the last laugh ever since the family voted for democracy. For every little matter that I try to sweep under the carpet, there is an outcry for a presentation of a ‘White Paper’ at the breakfast table. The expenses and budgets are scrutinized with an alarming regularity. No longer am I able to feed my overfed ‘Piggy’ with the leftover cash after the shopping spree without someone pointing out the irregularity. The word ‘Scam’ comes up with a dangerous frequency.
While I never really imagined a day when I shall be forced to seek mandate on the proposals regarding the purchase of my kitchen arsenal, I had definitely visualized some encroachment into my domain. Whether it is the destination for our next holiday, an outlay of the next budget or the installation of a new gadget, each matter has to bear the stamp of approval from the ‘Home Parliament’. There are no appointments, no portfolios; everything depends on the crucial count of votes. The only cabinet I can boast of is the one in my kitchen.
Since I have never been diplomatic, my brash comments often attract a lot of brickbats. The spouse, however, diplomatically ‘abstains’ from voting for my impeachment on such occasions. But that does not prevent him from demanding a ‘kickback’ for the favour at a later date.
I had not realised the full implication of the problems of democracy till I required a majority of votes to sway the decision to my choice regarding the ‘New Year Eve’ programme as against that of my husband. I toiled all day, canvassing for a night out to save myself from the drudgery of a party at home proposed by the spouse. I was horrified when I discovered that a lot of ‘horse trading’ had taken place behind my back when my proposal was vetoed 3:1. Since the members of our ‘Home Parliament’ did not possess Swiss accounts, they had stashed the cache in their almirahs, which were duly discovered when I cleaned out their closets.
It wasn’t until I had enrolled the members to do ‘Kar Seva’ in the kitchen to prepare for the party that I realised that the system had certain redeeming features. After demolishing my plans, the ‘Kar Sevaks’ happily lent their hand to build up my hopes for a nice ‘New Year Party’.
© tanushri podder., all rights reserved.
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